Here’s another update, from my new life in America.

I’ve been here just over a year, and things are going ok for the most part.

There’s been some highs – I learnt to drive and passed my Driving Test at the first attempt, and I got my first full time job here as well, and got to know people, and have a bit more of an insight into how Americans think. We also added to our family, by getting a new parrot (Green Cheeked Conure) called Eric. He seems to like to dance a lot, and he’s very cute, fitting in gradually.

The only real low was when my old cat Puss died , who I’ve had for about 11 years, and was shipped over from England. It’s a shame to lose him at all, never mind close to Christmas, which he really enjoyed, especially sitting under the Christmas Tree on the velvet rug we put around the base, and watching the lights twinkle.

He was also a big fan of Chicken and Turkey, and We’ll miss him waiting for his dinner.

Well, I’ve mainly been working freelance, and do jobs for a variety of companies. You can’t guarantee the work won’t stop tomorrow though, even though the money is pretty good when its there, so I’ve been looking at getting a fulltime job.

I had a job testing games this summer at one of Activision’s Studios.

Activision is currently the largest games publisher in the World, in terms of sales. They own Guitar Hero, Tony Hawkes, Barbie, Medal of Honor, Spiderman, Shrek, Madagascar, and lots of other titles.

Unfortunately, they actually make all their games in California, and only do production work in Minnesota (including box design, testing, mass producing the disks, and so on),

Well, that was the only thing available. The money was ok (about twice minimum wage), and there were a lot of overtime hours. Bes of all, you’re getting paid for sitting about and playing games all day!

The work went well – I’ve worked in games for donkey years, and I’ve previously tested some of the games I’ve worked on, so I had a bit of experience. However, it was strange working with a company full of Americans for the first time.

One thing I sort of thought would happen when I got here was that everyone would be really religious. To begin with, I thought I was wrong. Everyone seemed not to be.

But , if you know someone long enough, it usually turns out that they are actually church goers, and its always a surprise. There’s nothing wrong with that, mind you, but it’s a bit of a change from England.When I was at Activision, it wasn’t unusual for people to start a sentence with “In my Church”, or “This guy I know that goes to my Church” – It’s a bit weird at first – if someone says that in England, people automatically file them under “Weirdo” , because the only people that go to Church in England seem to be Born again Christians or Old Ladies, but its pretty much everyone here. I also discovered that doing jokes about Satan etc, aren’t really appreciated. Ho Hum.

Minnesotan’s do actually have a quite dry sense of humor, which is not unlike the English sense of humor…so long as you steer clear of toilet humor and religious stuff. Then you tend to get on ok and considered charming.

On the whole, I do find Americans to be pretty pleasant and they try to be helpful.

I’ve been told it’s because I’m English, and they seem to think we’re all really polite, and live in castles and stuff. So they try that little bit harder for me. (smirk)

Americans do have a lot of presumptions about English people. For a start, they think that England, New Zealand and Australia are all the same, and in the same place. They also can’t distinguish between all three Accents. Every so often, I’ll walk into a Gas Station, and someone will hear my accent, and start saying “G’Day! Cobber! Where’s your Kangeroo?” – I’ll say “I’m English”, and they’ll say “Same thing….” They seem to get their ideas of England from watching those BBC costume dramas, like Jane Austin and so on. We all live in 1820 still! I’ve honestly had people ask me if I know who someone really famous is (like an ex-president or whatever), and seem a bit taken aback when I tell them I had access to a television set when I was in England. In fact, we invented the bloody things, since you ask. Sheesh. They also seem to think that we’re obsessed by drinking tea, honestly seem to think I’m lying when I tell them I hardly drink it (coffee either). Worse - once they know I’m English, they think its perfectly ok to start putting on a Posh “upper class twit” accent and start saying “Helllooooooo…..Where’s your cup of tea?.....Want the loo?.......”.

On the flip side of the coin, they are incredibly surprised when I tell them that they’re national stereotype is a Texas cowboy. Ah, sweet revenge. They DO NOT like it well when you do cowboy impressions. If you come to America, avoid that impression.

Also, Americans seem to think that England is the size of a small village. It’s not unusual for an American to ask you if you know someone they know in England. I have to stop and point out that there’s 61 million people living in England, and I only know about half of them. There are 130 million in the USA. Another question I get asked a lot is, “How big is England” – and so I did some research, because I’m weird like that. England is about a 10^th the size of America, but, there are a lot more people crammed into England.

(I’ve put England next to USA so you can compare the sizes) – America is smaller than most people think.

If you add up the populations of All the most Northern States in America, which are (from West to East) Alaska, Washington State, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York State (which includes New York City), Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine, there are still LESS people in all of those states put together, than we have living in England! As a side note, Twice as many people live in England, than live in Canada.

There are a few other preconceptions about England that American’s have of Europe in general. They think that the English have really bad teeth (if you ever wondered why Austen Powers has crooked teeth, that’s why), and that we never wash. A lot of it stems from service men stationed in England during the Second World War, when soap was rationed, and coal wasn’t plentiful, so there was not a lot of hot water. Ok, I’m a bad example, in person, but I’ve had to point out that they’re wrong, and that it’s a bit racist. Also I’ve heard bad stuff about the French. And don’t get me started on the Scottish either.

(This is my new look)

Even my new dentist mentioned the bad teeth thing and seemed surprised that I didn’t need any work done on my teeth at all/ He gave my teeth a polish (with a dremel I think), and I now have terrifyingly white teeth. People actually shield their eyes. Seriously.

American’s are also completely obsessed by health, and are terrified of germs.

If I eat a sandwich, and just take a mouthful, and put it down for a couple of minutes whilst I do something else, an American gets an overwhelming urge to wrap it in cling film and put it in the fridge. Even if you’re gonna finish it off in a minute.

Almost all adverts on TV are for drugs. Apparently you should “Go and talk to your doctor about XXXXX drug”, that can fight bone loss, or whatever. It then spends 2 minutes telling you that there are serious chance of “side effects” like coma, and death, usually, if you go anywhere near the drug. They usually show a really healthy person playing with children on a beach when telling you this.

Anyway, in my bid to mix more with Minnesotans, I’ve been going to a few events that are local, and they’ve been a bit of a mixed bag. I have to point out that, I live in what’s known as “The Midwest” – and for years before TV’s became popular, and there was nothing much else to do, they had a few “fairs”, as entertainment. These are more like Farmers Markets and craft shows. These were mainly a big meeting where craftsmen and farmers and so on, could meet in a big area and sell or exhibit their wares. Basically like the “Great North Show” in England.

I went to the Minnesota State Fair. Everyone goes to it. It’s weird if you don’t.

There are free buses to get there. From everywhere. The State Fair is 90% Fast Food stalls., but there are other things to see, like the seed hall – where you can look at some seeds – Yes, really. And there’s the odd animal exhibition as well, but its not really interesting unless you are a farmer. The locals seem to like it though. There are a few fair ground rides, and a few school parades with majorettes and cheerleaders and that sort of thing, but it wasn’t really my cup of tea (there I go again with the tea…) I have developed an unhealthy obsession with cheerleaders though.

I was taking some photos and then I realized that maybe, just maybe, a balding 40 year old, trying to get close up shots of 17 year old cheer leaders wearing hardly anything, being thrown up in the air, wearing short skirts….well, it may just look a little bit suspect.

I had to stop myself, after a couple of hours. It got that bad.

More interesting was “The Renaissance Festival” – This is a small medieval village that was built about 15 years ago, especially so that people can dress up and pretend to be from 15^th Century England. You don’t have to dress up to attend, but all the store keepers have to, and they have to sell something that is at least superficially Medieval. - you get Leather crafters, Jewelers, Sword Smiths, and that sort of thing. All the fast food stalls sell things like Chicken and Turkey legs, ribs, and you can even get “ale”.

I bought a huge Turkey leg – I brought it home for Puss, and he looked at me adoringly for the next 3 days solid.

I think it was the biggest single bird leg he’d ever seen in his life. He seemed very impressed, anyway. But then, he’d not seen the Cheerleaders at the State Fair.

They had a few jousting events too – its not a bad day out, but the fake English accents grate after awhile. I got a few funny looks ‘cos I had the accent, but I wasn’t in costume.

Halloween is a much bigger thing here. Minnesota is the chief exporter of Pumpkins to the world (It;s actually a major crop here), so they are fairly cheap, and everyone takes time to carve them.

Here’s one I made.

If you light one outside your house, it’s a signal that people are allowed to knock on the door and ask for sweets, although these days, you have to supply a nutritious alternative, such as sugar free, or gluten free, and so on. We usually get some cheap toys and give those out (25 cent tubs of play doh or something similar).

Did you know that you can eat pumpkins? The Indians (sorry, “Native American’s”, the original settlers), used to grow them for food. They taste a bit like swede or turnip.

Which brings me on, nicely, to Thanksgiving. This ISN’T American Christmas, as a lot of people seem to think, but it does have a lot in common. Its basically just the huge meal part of Christmas day, but we have it on 27^th November. We have the obligatory Turkey, vegetables of your choice, and apple pie or pumpkin pie. No gifts are exchanged, we just get the day off of work, unless you work in a restaurant – We have our version of the January Sales on the day after Thanksgiving day, known as “Black Friday” so it’s a big shopping day that kicks off the Christmas season.

There are plenty of things I miss about England, and I’ve been trying to find the equivalent over here. Predictably, the top of the list is pubs. There ARE real pubs here, but they’re only used by criminals or other dodgy types. They are usually on a back street, and painted black, and look a bit sinister. You can get a drink in a diner, but you have to sit in a booth, and order it via a waitress. They look at you like you’re a bit weird if you don’t order food, so we often do just to blend in. Because everybody drives, and they can get sued if you crash, they usually “cut you off” (stop serving you) after about 2 or 3 rounds, so its largely a waste of time. We have found a “German bar” that’s not too bad (it just calls itself a German Bar – there are no Germans there, but they serve German food, or at least Minnesota’s idea of German food) I miss ordering beer at a bar, and just being able to mix with strangers – getting into a conversation about football, that sort of thing. When you are in a booth, and getting a waitress service, it’s impossible to do that.

Second on the list, is Fish and Chips – which is actually quite a popular dish here.

But,there are no Fish and Chip shops – you can just order it in Diners. The problem is, Fresh Sea fish is very very expensive here. Mexborough is nearer to Africa than we are to the nearest sea. We’ve do have literally thousands of Lakes. So what they use instead, is usually a fish called Walleye, which is a bit like a Pike crossed with a Perch (if you know what these fish look like – they are popular in English rivers and Lakes).

It has white flesh, like Cod, but its got a muddy aftertaste to it, although it seems to be very popular (you can even get Walleye fish fingers and so on). But – There’s an Irish Bar (actually another Diner) that is famous for its fish and chips.

And it makes them with Cod too – its pretty expensive, but at least it’s the real thing.

You can even get curry sauce and mushy peas. People actually queue round the block for it.

Third on the list, are a few snacks, that you just can’t get here. Midget Gems (the hard variety made by Lyons), Proper Pork Scratchings (we get pork flavoured corn snacks here), and finally, of all things – Pot Noodles. Specifically the “Bombay Hot Boy” flavored ones. Oh, and no Yorkshire pudding! There were magazines too that I missed, but I managed to order them from the States.

People here snack on different things - Flavoured Sunflower seeds are popular, as are Pretzels and Beef Jerky.

People rarely eat crisps and chocolate though, although you can get them (You don't get the same range of flavours though in crisps - its pretty much restricted to Salted, Plain, and you can get "Cheetos" too, which are sort of like Cheesy Wotsits, but no Beef and Onion, Salt and Vinegar, Cheese and Onion etc).

Finally, I miss my friends and family. I’ll try and get over and visit at some point in the next year, but no promises mind you, have to see about airfares and that sort of thing.

Keep in touch! If you want to see examples of my latest projects, you can see my work on WWW.SHAUNMCCLURE.COM. And email me at Shaun.McClure1@btinternet.com.

Love you all,

Shaun and Jan xxx